11 June, 2010

My sister

I was so angry that I was actually trembling. How could anyone be so heartless? Staring at my sister’s pale and unconscious face and my parents' equally stricken ones, I knew that I would do anything for revenge.


Merely three hours ago., Alicia, who was two years younger than me, had been a healthy ad happy teenager. She had made plans to meet her older sister at the Hilton Hotel for their parents’ 26th anniversary celebration. She did not show up, because right outside the hotel, there was a hit-and-run, and Alicia was the victim.


Before this, I had thought I would never feel a greater rage than my best friend’s betrayal. However, seeing someone you love in pain, seeing her hurt, touched something deep inside. A protectiveness, a pain beyond description, and a fury...... at those who hurt her, i experienced all three just seconds ago, when the doctor pronounced Alicia doctor pronounced Alicia a vegetable for the rest of her life.


With all the self-control I could muster, I went out of the room without slamming the door. I had no specific destination in mind, but I did have an idea of what I wanted to do-to kill whoever was responsible for this!


I did not have to wait long. Squatting outside Alicia's ward, was a boy who looked about fifteen years old. He met my stony gaze, and I could practically see and feel the fear and pain lurking
in his eyes. Intuition told me that this boy, no, this "thing", had caused Alicia's pain, my parents' misery, and myinsurmountable fury!


“ I ........ I’m so sorry.”


He had his head bowed. Sorry! Of what use is that? I screamed inwardly. I wanted to make him and to tell him that his rash actions had cost an innocent girl her life!


But I could not bring myself to do it. His apology had surfaced a multitude of emotions in me, including an unspeakable sadness that put me past the point of coherence. Ironically, I wanted to comfort him. He was so upset that all I wanted to do was to relieve him of the pain, the pain that we were all feeling.


Before I stumbling twice in the process. He had a resigned look on his face. I watched in bewildermentas one of them put a pair of handcuffs on his wrists. Swallowing hard, he turned to me.


"Can I tell her how sorry I am in person?”


I nodded mutely and opened the door. My parents looked up, their eyes questioning. I nodded my head, and they consented. The young boy walked unsteadily towards Alicia, knelt down and bowed. I thought I saw tears of regret in his eyes. The two policemen then escorted him outside. That was the last I ever saw of him.


I sat down at Alicia's bedside, and started to cry. I unleashed a tirade of pent-up emotions that had been building up for the past two hours.


Feeling just a tiny bit better, I realised that Alicia, being the kind and loving girl she was, would have been glad that I had not taken out my anger on the boy. She would say in that lovely voice of hers, "Forgiving someone, and loving them instead is a difficult but beautiful thing. "


Yes. Forgiving. I did not feel like forgiving or loving just then, but perhaps one day, I would be able to do what Alicia herself did best.



Vocabulary

vegetable : a human being who has little or no power of thought or sometimes also movement 植物人

muster : to gather or collect 聚集

insurmountable : too difficult to be dealt with 难以克服的

coherence : natural or reasonable connection 连贯性的

bewilderment : to confuse, especially by the presence of many different things at the same time 使混乱

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